Don’t forget to edit your stories
Remember, “Write drunk; edit sober” as Ernest Hemingway said.
Your speech should not be longer than 7 – 8 minutes. No one likes a never ending story so make sure your personal anecdotes are funny, snappy and have a definitive punchline.
Don’t mention the previous break-up
Most couples endure at least one temporary break-up during their relationship; this doesn’t need to be mentioned.
Don’t be sexual towards the bride’s mother
‘Cor, if she looks like Mrs [insert name here] in 20 years, he’s in for a real treat. Just look at those…’ By all means, compliment the mother, adjectives suggestive of her beauty such as “gorgeous/stunning/attractive/wonderful” are always welcomed, but don’t get too pervy – you may have a post speech lynch mob on your hands.
Don’t hog the limelight
Just remember, everyone has their moment in the spotlight and all eyes will be on you, but it doesn’t mean the speech is about your life and how the marriage will cause you to lose your drinking buddy (unless it’s mentioned briefly and in jest); force you to re-evaluate your own circumstances, or anything like that.
Don’t spill the beans too early
It’s vital to start strong and grab the room’s attention with something magical, but don’t forget, it’s just as important to end with a bang.